Parenting Three Year Olds

Five teachers using a combined 90 years of experience share tips for parents of 2- to 5-year-olds. Getting the Best Out of Your Kid I worry my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At school she cleans up her toys, lays her shoes, and is entirely self-sufficient at potty time. In the home, she whines whenever I ask her to pick anything up, insists I join her in the restroom whenever she has to go, and lately has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Clearly, her teacher knows something that I don't. But then, what parent hasn't sometimes wondered: Why is my kid better for everyone else than for me personally? The simple answer: Your kid tests her limits with you because she trusts you will love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean that you can't invest a few plans from the preschool instructors ' playbook to get the best from your little one. We asked teachers from around the nation for their tips so listen up and take notes! .

Involve her in righting her wrongs

If you discover her coloring on the walls, have her help clean off it. If she yells over a playmate's block tower, ask her to help rebuild it.

Don't redo what they've done.

If your child makes her bed, resist the impulse to smooth the blankets. If she sees herself stripes and polka dots, then compliment her eclectic style. Unless absolutely necessary, don't fix what your child accomplishes,'' states Kathy Buss, manager of the Weekday Nursery School, at Morrisville, Pennsylvania. She'll notice and it may discourage her

Redirect.

If your preschooler is leaping on the sofa or grabbing for her big sister's dolls, divert her by asking if she'd like to draw an image or read a short story together.

Avoid good-bye meltdowns

If your child is nervous about spending time aside, give him something tangible to remind him of you. Let him carry your picture; kiss a tissue or cut out a paper core and put it in his pocket. Having something physical to touch can help him feel anxious -- and short-circuit a tantrum.

No ifs. Make requests in speech that presumes cooperation

Should you finish putting away your crayons, we can go to the park, suggests that perhaps your child won't wash up his or her toenails. Try instead: If you set your crayons away, we'll visit the park.

Let your child work out minor squabbles

Rather than swooping in to settle disputes, stand back and let them work it out (unless they're hitting each other). You won't always be there to rescue your son or daughter.